Blog # 5 - I'm Glad My Mom Died

     In her memoir “I’m Glad My Mom Died” Jennette McCurdy writes in chapter 42 about getting her first apartment away from her mom. While Nickelodeon is paying for it, the apartment is still hers and she is excited to have a place of her own finally. When Jennete was growing up she had to sleep on the floor of her house on a Costco mat with her brothers. The house she grew up in was filled with all kinds of random stuff because of the fact that her mom was a hoarder and kept things that had no business being anywhere outside of a trashcan. So it’s safe to say that this apartment represented something special for Jennette. A chance to finally forge a path of her own apart from her mother and get out from under her shadow. I had an experience somewhat similar to this when I went to summer camp many years ago. For three weeks I was going to live on a college campus and take an economics class. As it was my first time away from home for an extended period of time, I was a little nervous, but still filled with excitement. As I packed my bags in preparation for my trip I thought about how I was going to have to navigate an entirely different atmosphere than I was used to. For three weeks I was going to sleep in a bed that wasn’t mine, make new friends with people I knew nothing about, and take a class on a subject regarding something I knew very little. Nonetheless, I was still filled with excitement because even though I knew I was nervous, I also knew that this was an opportunity to prove to myself that I was ready for something bigger like college. When I arrived at the campus, I knew I had to do a few things to make the trip a success. I knew I had to make friends early, establish a routine, and relax. I ended up doing just that and by the end of the first week, I found myself with a host of friends, and an easy routine, and I’d never been more relaxed at a sleepaway camp. I guess I should add that this wasn’t my first sleepaway camp experience. I had done some before, but I had always come home from those thinking that I hadn’t done enough or had a good enough time. That’s why this one was so important to me. It was now or never, and I felt that I needed to have success in a sleepaway camp if I was going to have any shot to succeed in college or beyond. Being apart from my parent was important to me. Having a feeling of independence was important to me. That’s why it was so weird and jarring to see my mother walking through the cafeteria doors one day at lunch. It wasn’t something I had expected or welcomed for that matter. It felt like she was violating the sanctity of the camp by being there. She ended up saying that she was proud of me handed me a bag full of cookies, and then promptly left. Granted, this level of intrusion was nothing like what Jennette experienced, but still, I can relate a little to what she must’ve been feeling. I still love my mother and definitely don’t wish that she was dead.